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 aye GlescaPals .....Wha's like us ?  Damn few, an' therr a' deid

 .

The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and 
MARMALADE
invented by Mrs. Keiller of Dundee, Scotland, and slips into his 
RAINCOAT
patented by Charles Macintosh from Glasgow , Scotland. He walks to his office along an English lane which is surfaced by 
TARMAC
, invented by John Loudam Macadam of Ayr, Scotland or drives his car which is fitted with 
PNEUMATIC TYRES
patented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland
Before he acquired a car he used to travel to his office by train which was powered by a 
STEAM ENGINE
invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland
In his office he deals with the mail bearing 
ADHESIVE STAMPS
invented by John Chalmers, of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the 
TELEPHONE
invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland
At home in the evening he dines on his favourite traditional 
ROAST BEEF from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland - and then watches an item on the 
TELEVISION
- an invention of John Logie Baird, of Helensburgh, Scotland - about 
JOHN PAUL JONES, father of the United States Navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. 
His son prefers to read 
TREASURE ISLAND written by Robert Louis Stevenson, born in Edinburgh, Scotland, whilst his daughter plays in the garden on her 
BICYCLE
, an invention of Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.
It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots !  In desperation he turns to the BIBLE only to find that the first person mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI, who authorises its transaction. 
He could of course, take to drink, but Scotland makes the finest 
WHISKY
in the world. Nearing the end of his tether he could uplift a rifle to end it all, but the BREECH-LOADING RIFLE was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson, of Pitfours, of Scotland
Anyway if he escaped death he could find himself being injected with 
PENICILLIN
, discovered by Sir Alexander Flemming, bacteriologist, of Darvel, Scotland, or given CHLOROFORM, an anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland. Out of the anaesthetic his mood would not improve if the surgeon told him that he was safe as 
THE BANK OF ENGLAND
, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland
Perhaps, in order to get some peace , he should request a transfusion of guid Scottish blood so that he too would be entitled to ask - 
                             "Wha's like us ?  Damn few and therr a' Deid"..

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