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Memory
Lane..... Alternative
Memories I
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Most, if not all of us look back on our childhood memories and remember, in the
main, the good times but some people have been taking off the rose tinted
glasses and sending some not so nice memories. So I have dug deep into my
recollections and along with the others I have received, listed them....here they
are....
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.remember...........
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To get you in the mood read this alternative
version of the famous poem
'Oh where is the Glasgow' alternative version .......Farewell Tae
Glasgow.
by
Jim McLean |
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Smelly overflowing
middens with rubbish
strewn around the backcourt
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Puddles everywhere, rancid blue oily puddles......clabber!
Midgie Raking |
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Tenement buildings overrun with mice, we lived in a three storey tenement
and as the area was being demolished we and another family were the only two
families left in the close. Mice were everywhere, running up the curtains while you watched TV, the frying pan had
mouse footprints in it, we had to chap the door before entering a room to hear the mice scurrying across the
floor, mousetraps and wharfen poison everywhere. |
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Melting tar on the roads/pavements.......(Summers must have been warmer
then! )
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Fleas in the blankets and the house smelling of paraffin which yer
Da had sprayed about the hoose tae try and kill them
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Lice and getting your head checked at school, then yer Mammy scraping
yer scalp with the steel comb
getting the beasts oot yer heid, cracking them between
her fingers then chucking them on the fire to hear them 'crack'
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Flys
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flys were everywhere.
and BIG bluebottles!
Remember the sticky orange flypaper?
It came in roll, looked like a camera spool.
It was hung fae the ceiling light and when a fly
landed oan it.....it was stuck!
Ye ended up wi a flys graveyard.
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 Dirty outside toilets in the close,
really stinking and often so dirty you
daren't sit down
Single-end houses no
inside toilet
Our outside toilet in the close was terrible,
I remember my Da taking me out
at night
holding a candle which was our only means of light,
and using newspaper torn into neat
squares as .....
well you know what for!
Single-end
houses ...no bedrooms, no living room.....no kitchen
just a single room to live, sleep and eat in.
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Single-end.houses
overcrowding....I stayed in a single-end house in the close with my sister and
parents all of us sharing the bed which was in the 'bed-recess' being the
oldest I got the 'feet' end.
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Being
freezing in bed and using coats as blankets |
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It
was so cold that one morning I found a wee ice cube in my bed. I threw it
in the fire and it went ' Fart ' |
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The house being freezing in the morning and having to "kennel" the
coal fire! |
Bed-wetting...a
heard a great story about a boy who shared the bed with his brothers, this night
when asked
which end he wanted to sleep at he said " the shallow-end! " |
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No Central heating |
ice on the windows....on
the inside! |
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no hot water on tap,
kettles boiled on the gas ring |
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the bed freezing,
getting yer feet on the hot water bottle |
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No family holidays...the odd day away to Ayr, Saltcoats, Largs or 'doon
the watter' tae Rothesay if
you were lucky |
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Where ur ye gaun on holiday this year?...'Hame'll-dae-me'
came the famous reply! Or maybe 'Windy-Ledge' |
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Poverty! |
Having to go to Crail St., Florence St., or Redan St.
clinics to
be cured for impitigo.
Many will recall how their hair had to be cut off and covered with a
purple dye
called gentian violet,
and how everyone called you scabby heid. |
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The
dreaded Scabies, which, regardless how clean your family were you just
picked it up and imposed it upon your household. Again we would visit one of the
above clinics to strip naked, and be doused over with a white liquid put on with
a large decorators paint brush, a dreadful and embarrassing experience. |
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Remember the unfortunate children at school who had a 'lazy' eye and having to
wear specs with one lens wrapped in elastoplast! |
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Puddles... playing wi the water and drinking
it! |
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Stanks in the
street overflowing with effluence.....sh*t spewing out everywhere
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Urinating in the
back close
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Standing on the football terracings with pee flowing
everywhere,
as the men would pee into there beer bottles then empty them at their
feet. I have even
seen these
bottles being used as missiles, raining down on fellow supporters! |
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Extract
from e-mail 22nd Nov.2002 (name
withheld) Regarding your
comments about football matches and bottles
filled with urine, I
remember as a ten year old going to Celtic Park, an' being 'lifted
ower' by a
decent supporter, to collect empty bottles for returning to the
shop/pub for refunds.
On finding a half filled 'ginger' bottle with what in my childhood
ignorance I
assumed to be 'ginger' I asked the man standing there "haw mister, is
this ginger?" Which he replied,
"yes". What luck, I took a slug only to find it filled with pee!
This is an experience of abuse which I clearly remember to this day.
When they stand before the pearly gates there are many in this world who have
much explaining to do for their mistreatment of weans. |
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Drunken men
staggering hame,
stinking o' the booze! |
 These auld Da's were typical
of the old men you see in every
major city and Glesga is nae exception!
Men down on there luck who turned tae
alcohol and the bevvy ruined them.
Sadly modern cities seem nowadays to
have more than there fair share of young
men and woman...down on their luck |
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 Dogs poo on the pavements...standing on it and trailing it through the
house,
or having to scrape it off yer shoe on the pavement edge.
A
wee boy walked in tae his hoose, an he hud a big jobby, in his haun, an he says
tae his maw Hey, Maw dae you know ah' nearly stood oan that!! |
Packs of dogs roaming the streets and sometimes needing a well aimed bucket
of water thrown over them!
If ye get ma drift! |
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Weans wi' snottery noses, I knew a wee boy
in Brigton who always, always had a snottery nose.....various colours.
Incidentally, when people blow their noses then look into the hankie..what
do they expect to find? A silver sixpence!
(wean.......Glesga term for 'child' pronounced wane)
The Dreep. ( Joe Sharp )
Whit can I dae aboot this continual dreepin’. Frae my nose a’ the day even
when I’m sleepin’.
The Doctor says he can dae naethin’ aboot it. He says it’s no’ like
somethin’ ye can take it oot an’ shoot it.
I went tae the Chemist tae pick up my prescription. An’ afore I went in, I
gave my hooter a guid blow.
But as I bent o’er the coonter tae sign my description. Watter frae the well
o’ my nasal canal began tae flow.
The wee lassie wis awfy guid an’ didnae make it an issue. She jist went roon’
the back.
An’ when she came back. She geid me a big paper tissue.
In the Post Office oot o’ the rain. An’ I noticed my sleeve wis a’ damp.
Wi’ wipin’ the dreep as I walked doon the street. It wis handy for stickin’
the stamp.
It’s no’ bad today, noo I’ve found a way. A guid way tae kick it....I jist
lick it.
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Polis booking ye for playing fitba in the street!
Annoyed me this one as me and my pals had to go to Tobago St Police
station
for a verbal warning from the Superintendent.....meanwhile the real
neds were running around fighting, stabbing and breaking into
houses! |
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Gangs
Neds standing at the street corners and gang fights
Running at each other with blades, slashing faces and kicking lumps
out each other.
We spent many an
evening (1960s), hinging oot oor two-storey windae, cushion on the ledge,
watching these mindless
morons chase each
other up and down Baltic Street.
for more on gangs click here
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From the alternative memories
the conditions were often deplorable yet this song typifies the feelings
that were
prevalent when the letter arrived informing the family that they had to
move as the building was being demolished.
We ALL wanted to stay!
The majority of folk didn't want to leave there
friends and community, unfortunately the idea of renovating the tenement
buildings came to late for most of us and neighbours, friends and families
were scattered to the four winds....
read the words of this song
Oh they're
pullin' doon the buildin' next tae oors
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| More Alternative
Memories. |
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Webmaister :- Any more?
Send me an e-mail.
I have tried to lighten this page with a wee bit of humour but lets
not forget we did live in some appalling conditions. I hope we are all the better for it.
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Extract
from messageboard, 7th Dec.2002, Tommy Kennedy
I
have just been reading thru the 'Alternative memories' The Webmaister
should be complimented on including this on his site. Many of us,
especially ex-pats, tend to look at days gone by thru rose coloured
spectacles...'The good old days...that never really were'. To
forget the hardships and struggles our parents went thru, the terrible
slum conditions...just to survive, put food on the table, in the 'Old
Glasgow', is to demean their indomitable spirit TOO SURVIVE.
Glaswegians have one supreme quality, that helped the past generations
survive those days and is still present in todays generation....a great
sense of humour and an ability to laugh at themselves. |
Extract
from messageboard, June 2003, Betty Murphy, New Zealand
" ....have you all read "
alternative views in memory lane" I just did, and I must say I'm glad
that I did, I did not have the misfortune to live they way some people had
to, but I do know that all that is written is true, and we should be
thankful that things have changed at least for some folks, the thing that
has bothered me for a long long time, is the way they have let the drugs
get out of hand, there are so many people affected by these things, even
if they don't indulge themselves, but as usual the government is 40 years
too late in trying to do something about it....... anyway just thought to
say when you hear the stories YES it was not all good times back then, and
good on Wull the Webmaister for adding it to the website" |
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Last
update 01 May, 2013
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