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Songs II I wish I was in Glasgow Cod Liver oil Jeely Piece song wee bileing pan Derry &
Cumberland boys
Songs I Songs II Songs III Songs IV


I WISH I WAS IN GLASGOW. ( written by Billy Connolly )
Hear the webmaister (flute & vocals)
sing this song  (2005)

note - 4Mb file best download with broadband
( my version I slightly altered words to personalise it )


1.   Oh I was born in Glasgow, near the centre of the toon,  
      I would take you there and show you but they've pulled the building doon. 

      And when I think about it, it always makes me frown.
      They bulldozed it all to make a road.

That great old place I miss/love so much, has seen much better days,
            And still we talk about it, as we go our separate ways.
            Oh but Glasgow gave me more than it ever took away,
            and prepared me for life on the road.

 2    my amended version
My granny was in weaving, my Granda loved the trams
            my mother, friends and teachers,
they made me all I am
They have seen the city come and go, still they give a damn,
            There's so much to learn along the road.
     original version

My granny was a cleaner, my granda drove a tram.
         My father was an engineer, they made me all I am.
         They have seen the city come and go, still they give a damn,
         There's so much to learn along the road.

3    I wish I was in Glasgow with some good old pals of mine,
      Some good old rough companions and some good old smooth red wine,
      We could talk about the old days, and the old  toon's sad decline
      And drink to the boys on the road.

other verses I've heard
       I belong to Glasgow, that's how the old song ran
       Ask anyone who's been there - you will understand
       You can take the man from Glasgow but not the Glasgow from the man
        It prepares you for life on the road

      My granny brought the family up from the time we lost our mum
      My father was a good man and he made me all I am
      There was always bread and butter, there was sometimes even jam
       And there was so much to learn along the road.


Cod Liver Oil And The Orange Juice
(As sung by Hamish Imlach written by Ronnie Clark and Karl MacDougall ) 

Oot o' the East there came a hard man   Oh oh, a' the way frae Brigton
Ah haw, glory hallelujah   Cod liver oil and the orange juice

He went intae a pub, cam oot paralytic  Oh oh, Lanliq and the cider
Ah haw, what a helluva mixture   Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Does this bus go tae the Dennistoun Palais  Oh oh I'm lookin' fur a lumber
Ah haw, glory hallelujah   Cod liver oil and the orange juice

In the dancin' he met Hairy Mary  Oh oh, the floo'er o' the Gorbals
Ah haw, glory hallelujah   Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Oh Mary, are ye dancin'  Naw, naw, it's jist the way ah'm stannin'
Ah haw, glory hallelujah   Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Oh Mary, yer wan in a million  Oh oh, so's yer chances
Ah haw, glory hallelujah     Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Oh Mary, can ah run ye hame Oh oh, ah got a pair o' sandshoes
Ah haw, yer helluva funny    Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Through the back close, intae the donny  It wasnae for the first time
Ah haw, it wisnae fur the last time    Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Oot cam her mammy, she's goin' tae the cludgie Oh oh, ah buggered off sharpish
Ah haw, glory hallelujah    Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Hairy Mary's looking for her hard man Oh oh, he's jined the Foreign Legion
Ah haw, Sahara and a camel      Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Hairy Mary had a little baby Oh oh, its faither's in the army
Ah haw, glory hallelujah    Cod liver oil and the orange juice  


Jeely Piece Song
(Adam McNaughton 1967 )   

I'm a skyscraper wean; I live on the nineteenth flair,
But I'm no' gaun oot tae play ony mair,
'Cause since we moved tae Castlemilk, I'm wastin' away
'Cause I'm getting' wan meal less every day:

Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty story flat,
Seven hundred hungry weans will testify to that.
If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan,
The odds against it reaching earth are ninety-nine tae wan.

On the first day ma maw flung oot a daud o' Hovis broon;
It came skytin' oot the windae and went up insteid o' doon.
Noo every twenty-seven hours it comes back intae sight
'Cause ma piece went intae orbit and became a satellite.

On the second day ma maw flung me a piece oot wance again.
It went and hut the pilot in a fast low-flying plane.
He scraped it aff his goggles, shouting through the intercom,
"The Clydeside Reds huv goat me wi' a breid-an-jeely bomb."

On the third day ma maw thought she would try another throw.
The Salvation Army band was staunin' doon below.
"nward Christian Soldiers" was the piece they should've played
But the oompahman was playing a piece an' marmalade.

We've wrote away to Oxfam to try an' get some aid,
An a' the weans in Castlemilk have formed a 'piece-brigade'.
We're gonnae march to George's Square demanding civil rights
Like nae mair hooses ower piece-flinging height.

wee bileing pan

Oh its no very much but still its a lot
Its a wee present last night that I got
But I'm gonna keep it as long as I can
Do you ken whit it is? Its a wee bileing pan

You only need water for it to make tea
You don't need a teapot or kettle you see
Its the handiest thing for a new married man
When he rises in the morning his wee bileing pan.

Well the king and the queen, the prince and princesess
The Duke of Argyll and mair like the rest
A visit to Glesga and round they did come
To drink some tea from my wee bileing pan

So when thay had entered and round they did sit
And I sent down for a pail full of chips
They were starving with hunger and ate every wan
And drank all the tea fae mah wee bileing pan.

And when the king finished he said it was grand
the tea is like honey thats made in that pan
but the queen she got up and said I feel sick
said I its ower the heed o' these rotten old chips

The princess was trying her best for to smile
for she was in love with the Duke of Argyll
But the Duke took the cramps and on the flair he did bang
I thought he was struck wi' mah wee bileing pan

They sent for the doctor and raised the alarm
the polis arrested the wee tally man
and the judge said to him you'll dae six months in jile
for trying tae poison the Duke of Argyll

Words sent to me from Archie Ferguson, his uncle Andrew Simpson ( born 1910) got them from an elderly man sitting next to him under the umbrella at Bridgeton Cross.
Sang to the tune of Laird of Cockpen.

( Hamish Himlach )

Noo ye've heard o the Billys and Sallys
The Norman Conk and the San Toi
Here's two merr tae add tae yer tally
The Derry and Cumberland Boys

Noo the Cumbie Boys are Roman Catholic
Tae chapel they've been wance ot twice
But Parkhead is their new Jerusalem
And Jock Stein the latter day Christ

And the Derry Boys are tae be christians
That's plain baith tae hear and tae see
For their language is strictly religious
"Jesus Christ", "Oh my God", "FTP"

When asked what they think o religion
They'll say "Aw religions aw right"
But these guys are only religious
When they want an excuse for a fight

So don't wear a green scarf in Brigton
Or a blue scarf in Cumberland Street
unless your a heavyweight champion
Or hell o a quick on yer feet



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